It’s easy to recognize our culture’s assault on purity and the effects that can have on families. But there is something else that is under severe attack; something else the devil is trying to steal.
Most of our favorite TV shows are on the front lines of the assault. Everybody Loves Raymond – maybe, but no one respects him. “Tim the Tool Man Taylor” has no tool in his belt that can get him out of a crisis without his wife’s help. Even our beloved Duck Dynasty often elicits their comic relief from the unwise wiles of the Robertson boys.
These characters lack more than common sense, they lack the one thing men need and want the most – their wives’ respect. This critical component to a healthy family isn’t just missing on the screen. It’s missing in many real life homes too.
Ephesians 5:33b says “Wives must see to it that they respect their husband.”
As a mom and wife, I “see to” many things. I see to it that my children get to school on time, that lunch is in their backpack and clean sheets are on their beds. I see to it that the health insurance gets paid, that my husband’s work shirt is ironed and that there is extra toilet paper in the bathroom cabinet. But how often am I that intentional about seeing to it that I respect my husband?
God thinks it’s an important part of being a wife. In fact He didn’t specifically mention most of what I do, but He did specifically say He wants me to be intentional about respecting my husband. And the command isn’t contingent on whether or not I feel my husband deserves it.
So on this Father’s Day I wanted to share some practical ideas for giving the man in your life what he wants and needs the most – your respect.
1. Know what he does for a profession. My husband has a pretty technical job. When asked what he does for a living, I used to say, “Well he works at Controlled Fluids, but I don’t really know what he does.” One day I realized what a big part of his life I was missing out on. Now I make it a point to understand what he does at work, which is especially meaningful when he wants to talk to me about his day.
2. Never hurt your husband in a social situation by making him the object of your joke. I am still working on this one. My husband gives me a lot of material because he often has his own unconventional way of doing things. I am learning to respect and compliment him for his innovation instead of tease him in front of friends and family.
3. Praise your husband in front of your children. (And never put him down in front of them). When your family gets to do special things, like a trip to the beach or a day at a water park, let your children know in front of your husband that their daddy works very hard so they can do special things. Then encourage your children to thank their father. I know moms work hard too, but I promise it will bring you a blessing to watch your husband flourish under their respect.
4. Do not criticize his efforts. I am a perfectionist. I have prescribed to the theory “if you want it done right, do it yourself.” But pointing out the food left on the plate in the dishwasher or the streak on the car window after he washes it just breeds an attitude of disrespect. A husband who lives under a microscope is not a husband who is receiving the respect he deserves.
5. Meet your husband’s physical needs. Before Lance and I got married my mother-in-law told me, “Try not to tell him no. It will make him happy, and it really doesn’t take that long.” Yes, that came from my mother-in-law, and yes it was an embarrassing conversation. My cheeks are red now just thinking about it.
Promise for today: An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. Proverbs 12:7
Happy Father’s Day to my awesome Daddy and amazing husband.
I love and respect you both!