For the last twelve years, I have been a stay-at-home mom to a preschooler. The year my daughter went to kindergarten, I had a baby boy. In two days that baby boy will go to kindergarten. There are no more cartoon-watching little people to toddle around my house all day spilling Cheerios and asking me a million questions. No more Hot Wheel races under my feet while I'm cooking dinner. No more helpers at HEB pleading to go down the toy aisle "just to look."
I often grumbled about the messes and begged to go five minutes without a question or request. I'm worried Monday may be a little too clean and a lot too quiet.
I'm also worried about my little man. I'm worried he will miss me, that the double knot in his shoes will come untied, that he won't eat all his lunch in the 25 minutes allotted. And then when he misses me, his shoes come untied and he is hungry, I'm worried he will cry. Then when he cries, other kids will stare and he will be embarrassed. Then he will hate school forever and me for sending him...I've got it all figured out in my worried little mind.
Last night I monitored the storm affecting Texas. I secretly hoped it would veer this way just a little, just enough to postpone the start of school a few more days, to postpone the inevitable change in seasons.
But then God reminded my anxious heart of something that I have been reluctant to accept. Seasons are a gift from God. Without seasons, there would be no growth.
Nature itself testifies to this. It's clear that without the spring rains and summer suns, flowers would not bud. Yet winter is just as important. In fact botanists have a name for this cold, necessary season - chill hours. Many plants, such as fruit trees, have a requirement of cold before they will bloom. God made in them a season to be dormant so that when winter is over, they will blossom into all He created them to be.
As this new season of uncertainty and change approaches, I can lament with worry and regret, or I can chill. I can trust that God loves my son even more than I do. I can believe that although my days may look different, God still has a purpose for each one. And I can remember that my worry will not change one day of this season, which God has already ordained. What is unknown to me is known to God.
Thank you, God, for each season. As this new season approaches, help me to see it as a gift, help me to understand everything that happens is for my growth and your glory, and help me to chill.